for the last six months, I have been tossing around the idea of an ironic poem based on two people, seemingly opposite who turn into the truest of friends.  I can visualize the structure and when I close my eyes I feel what the poetry is trying to say... but when I sit down to write it, I have nothing.  The reason, I realized today the reason why I am unable to write it is because it is based on two real people who have lived through and are continuing to live through the situations I have drafted.  I am going to need this other woman's help in order to finish the poems I feel so passionate about.

I AM GOING TO NORWAY!!!!

my immigration papers have arrived and now it is official, I am going to school in NORWAY!!!!  All that was suggested I bring, beside the necessities, was a deck of cards.  Simple, but definitely sensible.

I leave August 13 and won't return until December 20.  Sad part, Norwegians don't have Thanksgiving... one of my top three favorite holidays... so I will need to improvise while there and do something to make up for it when I get home.

Late last night or early this morning (before 1am) my roommate's youngest brother died.  He was only 13 years old and there is no known reason for his death.  I stayed up with her just wondering what to say, what to do... nothing. 

I have never had a sibling (that I personally know) and so I don't know what this is like... HE WAS ONLY A BABY! his 14th birthday is next week..........

All I can think about is his mom going into his room to tell him it was time for bed and realizing he was gone! It breaks my heart thinking about that feeling she must of had.  With the exception of Jesus, Evan was alone!  I hope he wasn't scared... I hope it was peaceful... I hope he is happy in Heaven and that we all receive some comfort.

What ever your religion (or not) please pray for Evan and Jennifer and their family.

Evan's life was just beginning and Jennifer's and the rest of her family's lives will never be the same.

God, I ask You for healing in this time of distress and tragedy.

soooo... immigration... what a load!

If you don't know already, I have been trying to acquire a residential permit through the Directorate of Immigration through Norway so that I can participate in my study abroad experience.  I am at fault for one thing, my application was submitted a month after I received my acceptance letter from Bodo, but how was I to know that my expeditited passport application would take 5 weeks because I have two birth certificates since I was adopted.

Since that little delay, this whole process has been hell. it seems like I cry every day due to something Norway-related.  First I don't hear anything, then I find out my study permit was filed as a work permit (despite the fact that my application was titled: UDI-First Time Application for a Residential Permit for Educational Purposes) then I hear it will take 3 to 5 weeks to get the damn thing registered.  I DONT HAVE 3 TO 5 WEEKS, I AM SUPPOSED TO LEAVE IN LESS THAN ONE MONTH!

I tell myself over and over again that if it is God's Will, I will be in Norway this coming semester... but that advice is really hard to follow when God's Will appears to be something I don't want.  Making it even harder... if I am not meant to be in Norway, I feel like it is a sign that I have been on the wrong path this whole time. And if that is the case, what am I supposed to do with my life??? Where am I supposed to end up??? How do I know what path I am destined for???

Immigration is shit.  If I end up in Norway and continue on this political path i have been laying the foundation for, I will fix the immigraiton process. that is a promise.

Its the destiny

for the first time in my life, I heard the true story of how I got my name.  I knew "Destinee" was my dad's choice, but the story is a little more ironic than that.  My mother is a born and raised Lutheran and my dad is a strict catholic. Now, for those of you outside the faith, that is like a 'mixed marriage' it would be as dramatic to say one parent was Christian and the other Muslim or Hindu or Jewish, or Buddist.  Anyway, my dad was certain that he wanted a Catholic daughter named Destinee and thus, my mom went to Mass with him every week where they spoke Latin, and had roseries, and all of that traditional Catholic stuff (I don't even know).  Anyways, just before I was born, my mom was still insisting I be Lutheran and her "two cents" for my name choice was Ashley.  So, faced with a decision, my parents decided to split the preferences: one parent chose my name and the other chose my religion. 

It is safe to say that had the coin flipped the other way, I would be Ashley the Catholic, instead of me, Destinee the Lutheran.  And this got me thinking, how easily I could have been a totally different person. I read a book once called, "We Are All the Same" and it is about a boy born the same month and year as me, but in South Africa and he was born with AIDS.  Just as easily as I could have been Ashley the Catholic, I could have been the boy in Africa, or a woman fighting for rights in Iran (like Neda did), or anyone.  Then, I think, huh... there has got to be a reason for all of this... all of the negative stuff I have experienced, all of the wonderful things in my life, every event and friend who has made me who I am.  There has to be a reason for all of this, I just need to take it one day at a time and stay true to my goals... and be HAPPY.